"The perfect blend"

When I retreat into the dark recesses of my mind, I find myself in a complexly woven web of thoughts and emotions, both conscious and unconscious. Though it is dark in there but I can still see streaks of brilliant white threads interwoven into the delicate web. The oppressing darkness tries to hide the light in its veil but the brilliance still shines through infusing me with the determination to keep on following to the core- as if I were on a scavenger hunt- in hopes that I might find my true self somewhere in the middle of the tangled  white threads. But at a certain point in the hunt I realize that I am not all goodness personified, so perhaps I have a better chance of finding myself in the dark shadowy parts of the web. But then again I am not completely lost to the darkness, therefore I keep carving my path to the core where the light and the darkness merge and none can be separated from the other because that is what the essence of my character is, a smooth blend of right and wrong, good and bad. I have my flaws and yet I am not completely faulted! I still retain my good qualities and the bad ones help me maintain the balance. The natural balance which is the most fundamental thing in keeping the universe in order. And this is the order that I find at the core of my dark mind web. It is the order from which all the chaos emerges. The chaos that we call life…!!!

A rainy moment!

The pitter patter of the rain drops on the window glass was a soothing melody in the midst of all the inner chaos, all the rambling thoughts and screeching memories! The rain drops worked as the elixir to extinguish the fire of the burning heart. They whispered sweet nothings to the disturbed soul to drown it in an easy slumber...!

Dreaming Phoenix...!

O' breaking dawn of the day,
where is thy youth today?
Your enthralling beauty as it unfolds,
which mind should capitulate this vision so bold?
In slumber so lazy,
do they just dream and whine?
But what ecstasy do they pursue,
What sight do they find?

Last night when I tip toed down
with all the blessings from the skies above,
Their curtains where bogging down,
just as their lashes caressed the ground,
I did come and spread my alluring wings
to take them on a magic ride,
But my dear earth, your men so shy,
their love such cowardly,
their passions so shallow;

They mocked the strength of my wings
and challenged my soaring flight.
O' your men, my dear earth
What lands have they conquered?
What hearts have they melted?
Is it blood or just water,
that produced their child...

I sang that night;
The story of the prince of Spain,
I told them that their was a boy,
I had loved him,
and the twinkle in his eyes;
When he saw the charisma of a lily bloom,
and the rage of the meandering lake,
How it carved and fought for it's path;
He used to jump in awe and say,
O' ye, I believe in you!

They all just laugh and only say;
He was a dreamer, he was a dreamer.
O', I said, that boy
How he loved his old man,
on his grave he used to cry.
Apologies for the sins he had never even tried,
and that child he had kissed
whom your men had left in wretched clothes.

The blinding fervor of his dignity;
when in honor he lay on the border of his land.
This romance of bravery
your men can not decipher.
They still laugh, "He was a fool,
how much did he earn from this enterprise?"
Indeed, my prince, your pursuit I envy!
and I sigh at your men; O' earth...

But still when I put down my pen
I hope and pray
that the kindled fire on your ground
will not just leave ashen men....
I have seen phoenix as they rise above
and I fear if it is a dream,
then I am a dreamer
I am a dreamer....

                                                            -Aksa


P.S. This is the answer to your last question dreamy gal! :)

Dying Souls...!

         There I was , sitting atop a low sand hill, with the vast barren plain stretching in all directions around me; interrupted by other sand mounds occasionally. I see the death and decay, I can feel it in my bones, cam feel the marrow weakening, the bones cracking and splitting just like the cracked land in front of me. This land lacked the love of sky (water) and the dryness was killing it slowly from the inside; the only outwards signs being the cracked soil and the yellow wilting blades of grass.
        I am attracted to this piece of land because I can see the similarities, it's just like me.... lacking love! ...the heart slowly dying with the dark circled eyes, telling the unsaid stories of sleepless nights, and the scaly dry skin as the only outward signs. I am like this dying land with a little part of me withering every day like the small clusters of grass dying daily! I can see the blazing sun in the sky and I feel it's scorching heat trying to kill the tiny little blossoms of hope who dare to fight against the decay. It reminds me of the scorching words of people that sear my soul and kill the beautiful tiny blossoms of hope on the tree of my thoughts.
       Sitting here at the funeral procession of this dying land, I can feel it's pain and the indescribable suffering. Seems like the soil underneath is calling me. I can hear it's pleas of love as it takes the last shuddering breaths, telling me the stories of it's joyous times...!
       The sudden wind whipped my hair and I caught the lose strands in my eyes. Pushing them out of my eyes I tore my eyes away from the wallowing land and looked up at the sky and saw a small cloud trying to hide the mighty sun... the irony made me laugh out humorlessly. But then I noticed the winds and the clouds desperately fighting the sun... trying to obscure it to save their beloved from the open arms of death. I watched in amazement as the winds unleashed their anger, and more clouds rushed furiously across the sky blocking the scorching heat of the sun and darkening the blue skies. And then I felt a drop of Elixir of life falling on my upturned face and felt the land underneath my feet starting to smile as the love of sky started to shower down on it and it's dying soul breathed again. The tiny particles of soil started to dance and swing with the grass on the music of the rain drops! I can hear their songs and can smell the love in the moist air. the joy of the land made me smile and that smile brought my own soul back to life and I realized that feeling others pain and joy is what brings us true happiness and makes us forget our own worries. this thought helped grow blossoms of hope which started to flourish with the water of smiles, on the tree of thoughts in the land of my mind....!

Depiction

I feel
as if I am;
the rusted furniture,
a torn paper,
an abandoned book,
an autumn leaf,
a dried rose,
and a broken stem
from within...