Depression

Depression is the worst kind of disease that not only kills your own soul but also of those around you. Those who care. It derives them away leaving you alone to mourn your own death!

                                          

                                            -Aksa

Suicide...!!!

The broken shards of glass

Pierced through her flesh,

Letting the crimson blood drip out!

The droplets stained the marble floor

Blood glistening more than the marble below it!

She watched the droplets turning into a puddle,

The puddle of deep crimson life seeping out of her.

The tinkling sound of glass shards hitting the floor startled her!

She looked at her empty hand,

Her arm tilted sideways,

And the sudden falling sensation made her realize,

She was falling into her own blood!

The crimson liquid spread around

And stained her hair,

And her porcelain skin.

As if trying to infuse life back into her!

But once seeped out, life never returns.

Hence she laid colourless,

In the colours of her own life…!!!

                                                  -Aksa!

The Lifeless Memory!

    

She sat there in the middle of the darkness-seeing nothing but feeling everything-hearing voices that did not even exist. Her vision was haunted by the two lifeless eyes that were etched on the canvas of her mind. She was drowning in the shallow depths of the darkness and the will to search for light had died a long time ago. She despised visualizing those haunting eyes and yet she was afraid to lose sight of them!
     She sat still focusing all her energies on visualizing the fiery sparkle that was ever present in those eyes, but no matter how hard she tried the dull eyes in her mind never sparkled anymore, their twinkle had died away and now they just stared unseeingly from the 'Oh so familiar yet unknown paper white face'!
     From a long time now this vision was all she could see every second of the day and night, and all her ears heard was the steady beat of the monitor indicating a dead heart. Those eyes never twinkled with mischief nor did those lips lifted in a smile anymore. The face never changed, it never moved and she sat still for hours on end, waiting for the slightest movement; a blink of the long lashes, a tiny twitch of the lips or the sight of that cute dimple. But it never happened...she waited in vain. Something inside her never wanted to let go of this thread of visual memory, though she was terribly afraid of it, it made her eyes bleed and caused her heart wrenching pain, but she held on to it. It was the last thread and she held on to it as her lifeline though the memory in it's self was lifeless!!!

Betrayal

Smiling hard
and making conversation
but a lone tear fell,

betraying the inner turmoil...!

                                                  -Aksa

Buried

Clutching her teddy bear
to myself,
I am trying to bury the pain
in the depths of my heart,
The way she is buried now
in the depths of the earth.

Dying Souls...!

         There I was , sitting atop a low sand hill, with the vast barren plain stretching in all directions around me; interrupted by other sand mounds occasionally. I see the death and decay, I can feel it in my bones, cam feel the marrow weakening, the bones cracking and splitting just like the cracked land in front of me. This land lacked the love of sky (water) and the dryness was killing it slowly from the inside; the only outwards signs being the cracked soil and the yellow wilting blades of grass.
        I am attracted to this piece of land because I can see the similarities, it's just like me.... lacking love! ...the heart slowly dying with the dark circled eyes, telling the unsaid stories of sleepless nights, and the scaly dry skin as the only outward signs. I am like this dying land with a little part of me withering every day like the small clusters of grass dying daily! I can see the blazing sun in the sky and I feel it's scorching heat trying to kill the tiny little blossoms of hope who dare to fight against the decay. It reminds me of the scorching words of people that sear my soul and kill the beautiful tiny blossoms of hope on the tree of my thoughts.
       Sitting here at the funeral procession of this dying land, I can feel it's pain and the indescribable suffering. Seems like the soil underneath is calling me. I can hear it's pleas of love as it takes the last shuddering breaths, telling me the stories of it's joyous times...!
       The sudden wind whipped my hair and I caught the lose strands in my eyes. Pushing them out of my eyes I tore my eyes away from the wallowing land and looked up at the sky and saw a small cloud trying to hide the mighty sun... the irony made me laugh out humorlessly. But then I noticed the winds and the clouds desperately fighting the sun... trying to obscure it to save their beloved from the open arms of death. I watched in amazement as the winds unleashed their anger, and more clouds rushed furiously across the sky blocking the scorching heat of the sun and darkening the blue skies. And then I felt a drop of Elixir of life falling on my upturned face and felt the land underneath my feet starting to smile as the love of sky started to shower down on it and it's dying soul breathed again. The tiny particles of soil started to dance and swing with the grass on the music of the rain drops! I can hear their songs and can smell the love in the moist air. the joy of the land made me smile and that smile brought my own soul back to life and I realized that feeling others pain and joy is what brings us true happiness and makes us forget our own worries. this thought helped grow blossoms of hope which started to flourish with the water of smiles, on the tree of thoughts in the land of my mind....!